overcoming mental obstacles

I had a very rough couple of days, to the point that I looked into withdrawing from Ironman. Luckily, I couldn't find my registration information and then a phone call came in and distracted me, for once I am very happy that I didn't cross something off my to do list!

Feeling blue last night, I went to bed and I read an amazing chapter in my beIRONfit book that addressed fear. I was letting fear get the best of me. The fear that was getting me however, was not fear of failure or fear of pain but rather embarrassment. Broken down into raw emotion, there are really only two types of fear; fear of bodily harm (death or injury) and fear of embarrassment. I was significantly struggling with my swimming and rather than getting better it was getting worse! I swam a whole 500 yards yesterday and just got out of the pool, I was done. After a good cry I decided that I was withdrawing because if I couldn't make it through the swim, I wouldn't matter if I could handle the bike and the run.

I wasn't going to go to the gym today and my friend told me she was going to be my workout doula :) and pushed me to go. I hit the pool, struggled through 20 laps keeping my eye on the lifeguard the whole time and then it hit me, I have been so self conscious of how the life guard was watching me that I could never concentrate on what I was doing! I was embarrassed by my abilities and felt like she was always watching me and worrying that she might have to get wet. Fear of embarrassment was getting the best of me, UNACCEPTABLE!!! The one thing I am always reminded about in my career is that it is not about me; so rather than worry about what she might be thinking about me, (because in all reality, she is a college student and is probably thinking about calculus) I quickly switched my mental attitude and powered out 46 more laps and you know what? My stroke was better, I was less tired and I accomplished my goal for the day, WOO HOO!

I knew that training for this race and the race itself was going to be as much mental as physical and I have certainly had my days, but man, yesterday was tough. I am proud of myself for working through my issues and I am REALLY looking forward to the next 10 weeks and the race. I am not in this to win, I am in it to have FUN and accomplish a lifetime goal!

Here is a quote that I really like and sums up the lesson nicely: "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear" -Mark Twain

Week 17, whoooooa!

13 weeks to go, yikes!! I am excited and a little scared :) Things are going well, I got a terrible cold and have been suffering through a few workouts for a week, I have not worked out everyday but have managed to get 4 workouts in over the past 7 days. I am disappointed that I got this bug now but I guess it is better than closer to the race.

I got new swim goggles, hopefully they will leak a lot less (maybe not at all!) than my others, I think the foam around the eyes is just breaking down from the chlorine.

Anyway, I am back on track no matter what this week, it will be a rough one, I know that but I also know that I will survive!!!

Training days 17, 18 & 19

I got a little bit behind on my posting! I had a terrible workout on Saturday! I was supposed to ride my bike for 1:45, I rode for 44 minutes and the workout kicked my ASS! I was very disappointed with myself. So, I go into my Sunday workout feeling GREAT, 20 minutes into it my right ankle/shin starts to hurt a little, I push on, it feels okay so I continue on for another 40 minutes. By the last 5 minutes my leg hurt pretty bad but I really wanted to finish and I was feeling a little bit wimpy letting pain get the best of me. I was wrong to push on! My leg is now killing me and it feels like my shin muscles are "burning" when I walk and that sucks! I have started and continue to follow the RICE (Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation) protocol and I am hoping for quick results. I wrapped my leg tonight and tried to slowly walk on the treadmill in the low zone 2 range, it didn't work my leg hurt too much. The good news is that I got on my bike and felt fantastic! I rode for 45 minutes and rode 14 miles, I am getting faster!!! In addition to the bike ride I also was able to get in a 20 minute swim. I was able to swim 700 meters which I was happy with after being out of the pool for 2 months. I have a long way to go but you gotta start somewhere!